It is a funny thing, but I clearly remember thinking last week that I really ought to update this blog to reflect the latest developments in My search for a fulltime slave and household companion. And, as is often the case when I have such thoughts, I realise afterwards that I should have acted on that impulse - usually too late to rectify the situation!
After searching for almost three years, I have found a slave.
This boi, 182-618-755, spent the weekend here in service. I found him to be obedient, willing, respectful, inquisitive at times, loving, patient, funny, critical, intense, curious, calm under pressure, and most of all, ideally suited to My taste.
Physically, he is skinny, has some muscular development, has a tightish foreskin, is learning to enjoy the physical sexual aspects of being a slave, is now shaven in the groin area, and is very promising. he is now wearing a chain collar, and, to all intents and purposes, is considered to be an owned slave.
So, I have found My slave.
To put the whole thing into perspective, I have to consider the developments over the past few weeks. Initially, I was supposed to meet with 483 - I'd wanted 729 and 483 to meet, but 483 said he'd been quite freaked out when he received his tags in the post (god knows why, because I thought it was going swimmingly then - we'd been chatting over the phone, using Skype, and there was not any cause for alarm), and as he was about to go on holiday, said he'd use the time to think about this type of relationship and whether he wanted to continue our discussions, and, to cut a long story short, he vanished into cyberspace. I tried to contact him, but in the tradition of such things, the calls and text messages went unanswered - gay for "god no, I am no longer interested!".
So to 729: he too went on holiday for a while and was supposed to remain in contact, but he has also sent Me the same sort of message. The last time I'd written on the blog, I mentioned that he had had an interesting orgasm, and I think that it is this that did for him. he showed Me a part of himself that is usually deeply hidden, a bit of his personality which I think makes him find submission so attractive. We discussed it afterwards, while he was recovering from his emotional lapse, and I now believe that he has not been in contact because of his inability to face Me because I know something about him which he does not want people to know. But such is subspace: interesting things make there appearance, and things, once said, cannot be unsaid.
So, if the truth be told, I don't think that I will see him again. The scene and loss of control was too intense for 729, and it will be a long time before he tests these particular waters again. Which is a great pity.
So, realistically speaking, that leaves 058. I have been in contact with him, and we were supposed to meet one Friday evening. The arrangement fell through because, he said, he had a work commitment. Nevertheless, I have tried to rearrange, but I have not yet been successful. Maybe it will still come together with him.
Floating about in the wings was an email conversation with a boi off TSR, who'd seen My profile and wanted to chat about things. We corresponded, and he was a circumcision fetishist for whom I entertained high hopes because of the quality of his emails, but then he too vanished into the aether, no doubt wanking himself to oblivion at the thought of being owned and used by a Master.
Which leads Me to the inescapable conclusion that not everyone is cut out for the intensity of a BDSM relationship. I do believe that many enjoy the brief frisson of excitement that flirting with voluntary servitude and even masochism offers, but I know from My own personal experience that true slaves are few and far between. When I look at the many bois who have shown interest, only two - possibly three or even four - have had the aptitude and determination and the guts to make a slave, because make no mistake, voluntary servitude is not an easy choice at all.
And so it was that I saw a profile for someone called Tail on recon five days ago. What struck Me was the way in which he'd written the profile. It was not what he said, it was what he did not say. The words he'd written were: "I'm pretty self reliant, I juggle various odd jobs just so I don't have to rely on others. Yes, I can travel and yes, I'm now not tied down enough to stay put. But I won't if it's a quick fling you're after. I'm in it for the relationship. The real deal. Don't like it, well... Stop wasting my time".
What struck Me was that here was potentially someone who had been looking and who was also unsuccesful. I thought - erroneously, as it turned out - that here was a boi who had tried a number of Masters and who, like Me, was tired of the artificiality of the gay social scene, and who wanted to serve a Master for real. he expressed an interest in relocation, and in being a house slave, and invited interested parties to contact him. So I did.
Nor was I disappointed. he has a self-deprecating style in the first messages, but I made it My business to follow up, and before long I found Myself chatting to this boi on msn until 2330, then 0000, then 0030. As is evident to anyone that knows Me, this is a major investment in terms of time for a boi, given My workload and starting and finishing times.
We discussed the theoretical aspects of being an owned slave, what I'd expect in a boi, and what he was prepared to do, and then I had him cum and send Me the pic - partly to see him enjoy himself and partly for Me to have a look at his penis, and partly to see if he would obey. he succeeded on all three fronts.
The substance of our messaging was that he wanted someone to take control of aspects of his life, but also to guide and be a companion as well as a Master. This idea excited Me, because it is precisely what I want in a boi. I need a boi who is capable of initiative and also of running his own life divorced from Mine, yet under My supervision, guidance, and approval. The more I read and chatted with him, the more I liked him. I decided that I wanted to hear his voice, to gauge his genuine-ness. This is not always infallible, but it is a good test of seriousness. he had warned Me that he was not the chattiest of people over the phone, "I am a bit shy", he said.
I liked what I heard. There was a distinct possibility where this boi was concerned. I had him register as a slave, for the usual reasons. And so it was that the boi kit became slave 182-618-755. My slave 755.
The next day, there was a text message while I was teaching. 755 had a free weekend, should he come up?
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