Sunday, 15 November 2009

WHAT A STRANGE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES!

So, things were going quite swimmingly with the new boi 755, until Wednesday last week. he was contacting Me daily as instructed, and I wanted to see him this weekend. Suddenly, while at a rehearsal, My phone beeps and it is a message from him saying: "Just so you know, someone recognised me from those photos and somehow it has made it back to my parents. Effective from next week I am not going to be living with them. Because of this I request that you remove those photos, and I would like to withdraw my offer of being your slave, because I cannot do that while I'm homeless." I was stunned. When I returned home, I removed the photographs from the recon site.

he offered to return the book I'd lent him, as well as the chain collar. We chatted on msn, and because he'd said that it was an unfortunate turn of events, I gave both to him as a gesture of goodwill, because sooner or later, he'd need both: if not with Me, with someone else. And so 755, My perfect slave, moved out of My life.

Suddenly, I noticed that another master wanted to know how things were going with 755. I'd seen the message on recon before, but I thanked him for his interest, and said that things were fine. After the devastating news from 755, I noticed a reply from this master. He wanted to talk. And so the whole sordid business unravelled.

It appears that My 755 was also speaking to this man, and because he'd seen that I was the owner, he was troubled that the boi was contacting him. Not wanting to stand on My toes, he wanted to know what was happening. I told him. He asked about 755, and I responded, positively. He asked what had happened on the weekend, where the boi had slept, if he had cum, how had it been overall. So I told him.

It seems that the two experiences, Master and slave, were at variance. It seems that the boi did not cum at all, and that he did not share My bed. Which is a shame, because I am sure I did not imagine the boi curling up and snuggling on My body, nor did I imagine making him cum onto Me and then licking it up, tasting his milky cum when I kissed him a moment later.

Nevertheless, the truth is always the best option. I told him what I did to the boi, and how the boi enjoyed it, and so on. I also told him of the unfortunate domestic unhappiness which had apparently overtaken this boi, and the reasons he said he'd withdrawn from the ownership.

It was strange that the master and 755 were speaking on that Wednesday, but these things happen. I was growing to love this boi, so it is all very sad.

Another learning curve. Another lost slave.

But all is not lost: as always, I am optimistic, and now speaking to another two bois, one local, the other in Hampshire. Sooner or later the slave I want will come and serve, and be grateful for the opportunity to be My slave.

As for 755? I wish him love, and good luck, and well for the future. No hard feelings - there's no point.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

WEEKEND CONTINUED

The afternoon was spent down at the yacht club; I wanted to show 755 the boat and the project. I intend using his labour here too, and ultimately I want him to learn to sail and to crew with Me once the boat is a reality again. I think he was impressed by what he saw, and so I intend involving him this weekend if he comes up.

I have asked him to come and serve this weekend, because I want to make hay while the sun shines still. We have had the first weekend, and I want to consolidate the learning and also start finding a happy medium. I am not sure how much I am going to see of him over the xmas period, especially if I am at sea in a sailing barge during that time as is currently being planned. Either way, I intend this to be the last xmas he spends in Luton.


We went for a drive and had tea at the Punch Bowl in Churchtown. I ordered the steak pie, which was not too bad - I did think that it became saltier the closer one got to the bottom. The boi had a burger, and we both had a starter. All in all, the food was ok, but nothing really to write home about. he was having a problem with his beer (the trouble with owning a boi who is a barman) so I told him to tell the barmaid and change it. She said, quite loudly, "It tastes fine to me!", and so I thought "sod you"! I had paid for the meal, so I wasn't going to take too kindly to someone forcing unpleasant tasting drink on My party.


The drive home seemed to take ages, and I was very tired because of the late night the night before. We arrived, and he undressed, and then we moved the bedroom around a little. We didn't finish it as well as I would have liked, but 755 had a good idea with the small table, so the general feeling of space was improved somewhat. Also, it was good to have a slave to help around the house, tidying up and generally making My life comfortable, so it was with a happy heart that I had him replace the vacuum and so we went downstairs to flop a bit, Me on My chair with a newspaper, and him on the floor at My feet, doing some required reading.

I have him reading Rinella's "Becoming a slave" at the moment, because I want him to develop the same reflective habits as Rinella has the slave Patrick doing. I very much like the idea of the reflective process, and so far it has produced results. The boi is doing very well with his blog, and I was amused to read him say "After that i assume Master Jonathan got rather bored, and so he pushed my head downwards, and told me to suck him off. The idea of this to me, isn't a very desirable one, but being a slave, i obeyed. i think i can honestly say that i didn't exactly enjoy it, the taste along with Master's pubic hair occasionally getting in the way made for a less than pleasant experience, followed by him ejaculating into my mouth, which he ordered me to swallow. The taste was quite frankly, disgusting. But i still did as i was told and swallowed, which made my throat rather dry." which is what I'd already seen from his body language. No matter. he will learn to enjoy the act of fellatio in time. At the moment it is all still very new to him, so I shall have to show him how to deal with the strange-tasting cum. The pubes are an unfortunate hairy part of Me, so perhaps I should show him how to suck My cock, too. It is all a learning curve, and so far the slave is doing very, very well indeed.


I woke this morning, wishing he were there to blow Me off. It is a great experience. When we woke on the Sunday, I had him cum onto Me, and ordered him to lick it up - which he was not too fond of, either. But then I had him come and kiss Me, so that I could taste the salty muskiness of his cum on his tongue in his mouth. It was wonderful! And then I had him blow Me, too.


Sexually, 755 is quite inexperienced, and I sometimes forget this. One of the features of this coming weekend is to spend time with him, just cuddling and talking about sex and how important it is, but also how unimportant it is, too. It is not a great part of his service, but at the moment it is probably the most difficult for him to do. But this is just a hurdle which he will get over in time. I do think I am being quite lenient and gentle, although it might not seem that way. The important thing I want him to know is that he is very special and very dear to Me, even after such a short time together. I value his subservience greatly.


The Saturday ended quite quickly, because we were both very tired, and so we went to bed. I had him sleep with Me again, because he gets so cold. Again, I warmed him up with My body.


Sunday morning I have already discussed. 755 is clearly not a morning person. I had to get him out of bed quite early, as I had a Remembrance day parade to attend at the Cenotaph over the road. I made him have something to eat, just as I had done on the Saturday - breakfast, not just Master's Milk - and before long it was hugs and goodbyes.


I really enjoyed My weekend with My slave.


So, I suppose the question is "what next"?

Monday, 9 November 2009

SO THE BOI COMES FOR THE WEEKEND.

I was unsure. I was giving out My address to someone from Londonish, and he had his own transport, was recently unemployed, and although we'd spoken, he could have been anybody. So, I took precautions: the arrangement was to meet at a neutral venue, so that I could pull the plug if necessary (and so that he could too); I prepared the front room carefully, so that he could be restrained if necessary, and of course I had the safety arrangement with someone else - I did check if 755 had done the same, and I am pleased to report that he had.


I was mildly irritated by the way in which the meeting was arranged; I was trying to teach and there was (it appeared) this constant stream of text messages. interrupting My flow. I hate the backwards and forwardsing of text messages! I am usually doing something, and I find that they get in the way of whatever it is I am doing. Especially in the class! Of course, I suppose I should put the phone on silent, or "off", but I hate doing that, too! Usually because I forget that it is off, and then only realise some days later that the phone hasn't shrilled its warning signal of an incoming call. But, I digress...


I was quite surprised that the option of meeting had arrived so suddenly, but this time I was determined to strike while the iron was hot. I agreed to the meeting, and then waited to hear that he had left Luton, northbound.


I have played this game before: the sub says he's left, gives some spurious ETA, fails to arrive, and then either lets Me know that there is a problem and he is going to be delayed, or just vanishes forever, never to be heard of again. So I waited. he left at 1437. Sure enough, there was a problem: traffic. And then another delay. Being wise to this, I phoned back each time, listening for the sound of engine noise and car-like sounds in the background. There were such noises - I was becoming more and more sure that he would actually arrive.


Finally the message warning Me of his being about 30 minutes away came, and I parked where I could see the arrival. I knew from the blueness of the car that My slave had come. he looked for a spot, took a wrong turn and then parked, and as I walked towards the car My phone beeped. I returned the call, and he noticed Me in the rear view mirror. I welcomed him, and then we had an awkward moment trying to find a better parking space - no point at all changing from the bank's parking lot in the middle of the night in a reasonably deserted part of town, as it happened - and then as we realised the futility of the exercise, I said to him, "Leave the car there, it'll be ok."


We took a stroll to stretch legs, and to Me he appeared quite nervous and apprehensive: what one would expect under the circumstances, so I tried to relax him as we walked, making small talk and taking us around the block. Looking back on it now, I realise that it must have been even more daunting, walking through dark back streets devoid of pedestrian activity, lurking through the shadows like men bent on evil intent.


As we walked, he lit a cigarette - he did ask, so I just took his shoulders and said it was all right, provided that the smoked on that side of Me (the leeward side) - I felt some resistance, but I thought, "Sod it! he has to learn who's in control, and I don't want this slave blowing smoke in My face." I think that he must have been alarmed, but he complied so the first hurdle had been successfully cleared.


We returned to the restaurant, and to him it must have been obvious that I was known and also not a raving loony - which of course was why we'd come here. We enjoyed a very nice meal, and I decided that we would not drink too much, mainly because we still had to drive to My house, and it wouldn't do to be done for drink-driving!


My first impressions were that he was thinner than I initially thought (I'd noticed this when I manhandled him on the street), and he needed some convincing to have a starter as well as a main course. his speech was not that forthcoming, but then as the evening expanded, so did he. I think he made a real effort to socialise, because it was quite obvious to Me that this boi was not really a talkative soul. I learned that I suddenly liked this boi more and more. I was quite enchanted by his ear-stretcher things, and found his mannerisms (he clears his throat like a student of Mine) endearing. I noticed too, the way in which he shared information, for example he commented on what he was not wearing - an indication to Me that he had followed instructions and was not wearing underwear. At the end of the meal, I asked him if he thought I was a crazed psychopath, and fortunately for both of us he said, "No." He agreed to follow Me back.


I made the decision to trust him. Before driving off, I gave him the post code, and then he followed (driving at 20 in a 40 zone!). We arrived outside, and so it started. I brought him in, and showed him the house, the deck, the cats, the workshop. Then it was upstairs to the loo, the shower, and then the room. I left him up there with instructions to strip and to come to Me downstairs.


he came downstairs clutching his genitals out of shame and embarrassment. This would not do. I had already laid out his cushions and the fleecy blanket, as well as the chain and collar and so on, ready for use. I had him sit at My feet, and asked him if he knew the significance of the collar. he was unsure, or at least indicated that he was, so I reminded him that once it was on, he was Mine for the duration. I owned his body, and he owed Me obedience.


The collar was on, the padlock had been clicked into place with a sense of finality. The boi was naked and collared at My feet. It was time to talk. The basic rules were explained, the rules about a slave's position in the Household. The fact that his place was on the floor, not on the furniture with Masters and other beings superior in status to himself, unless invited. he was hard. It was great. I had new property.


From the beginning, I was struck by his obedience. When I asked him to masturbate and send Me the pics, he complied. This is a boi who wanted to serve Me. I am quite privileged to have found him, and he, Me.


After a while the slave needed a cigarette, and to reward him for being good, I assented. he was a little taken aback when I said he was to go outside as he was (not) dressed. I didn't care. I don't like smoking, and I had warned him that I was not going to encourage this vile habit. he went outside, and I returned to My place in the warmth, to savour the pleasure of owning My slave.


When he returned, I invited him up onto the couch for a cuddle, and I was very pleased to see he was very much in need of love. he was actually more in need of the warmth too, so I held him tight, knowing that this slave was the slave for Me, even at this early stage. We chatted, and then, when I judged that he was warm enough, it was time to use the post chair that I had assembled as a taster. I put the leather restraints on his wrists and ankles, noting with some amusement that the usual wrist cuffs were too large for his slender wrists, so they went on to his ankles, and I used the other set of restraints for his hands, which worked fine. I led him to the chair, and had him sit on it.


he fitted it like a glove! he was nicely spreadeagled, and I took My time attaching him to the crossbar and lashing his legs and ankles in place. I toyed with the idea of putting a live webcam feed on slaveboys, so I made sure to hood him so he'd be unrecognisable. In the end, I decided not to, because although this boi was Mine to use as I chose, I thought it better to have this first intimate moment in absolute privacy, just Me and him. And I was glad that I had, as I learned later that I was his first, and so it made it even more special. Sometimes, I DO listen to those niggling thoughts!

I wanted to use a little pain, so I applied one peg to each (tiny) nipple, watching to see how he reacted. I had told him that if things were too hard, all he had to do was tell Me, and I'd stop. There was some pain, but none that he couldn't handle. Later, he told Me that his nipples were numb, but I was glad of it because it meant that I could use this to intensify the orgasm. The pain serves several purposes: it highlights the pleasurable bits by contrast, it allows the endorphins to increase the sensation of pleasure, and it provides Me with pleasure and also is a useful tool to use to show how the mind can focus on other stimuli and in so doing ignore pain. I made him relax, too. Like 729 before him, 755 tenses easily out of fear. I found Myself reassuring him and making him relax, while at the same time torturing him. It certainly was an interesting experience for him. I want him to feel comfortable and to surrender the control to Me, to feel safe and to trust My judgement.

Before hooding him, I had put the parachute on his balls, at first without the weight, and then with - to gauge his reactions. he was very nervous, and very frightened (as is to be expected), but I felt that he'd done very well. As a reward, I removed the weight, but replaced it later. 755 is very sensitive physically, and I took immense pleasure in tickling him and making him squirm. This I did throughout the weekend, and I found it fun to tease him in this way. Fun in a nice, loving way, of course. It is also a useful training tool, because later, when he was too squirmy, I ordered him to stop, which he did. And so the obedience training starts: the boi will do as he is told, because he can.


I have mentioned before that he has a tight foreskin, and I'd noticed earlier that it was painful to retract it. I pulled it back carefully so that I could put lube on the inside to edge him, and noticed him wince. Some more work is needed there. he is going to have to stretch it daily, so that it does so easily in time, and I have already instructed him to do so on a daily basis. The edging was becoming quite fun, and I noticed that the movement of the skin was quite easy now, the lube helping the stretching. And of course the eroticism was overcoming the pain. I refused to give him permission to ejaculate, and wanted him to maintain that control until he'd been given permission - it is not, after all, his penis nor his place to do anything except as directed. I want him to cum on demand, and so this is what we will work towards.


When he was finally given permission to cum, he was unable to do so. I felt that it was mainly because he was trying too hard to please, so didn't press the issue. Certainly, he found the pain to be a distraction, but when I released the left nipple and the blood surged back intensely and I massaged it to increase the feeling, he was relieved - although now completely distracted from the business of orgasm. I left the right hand one on, so that I could remove it at the moment of orgasm, but realising that it was not going to happen, I took it off to show him how to avoid the immediate sensation of pain by redirecting his attention elsewhere.

Realising that this first experience of edging was going nowhere because of the boi's over-stimulation, I decided to stop and so I released him from the chair , he was unbound, and then I felt he deserved a cigarette.


I had not yet decided on whether or not to allow him to share the bed, but as he was frozen from the cigarette smoking experience, I let him sleep with Me. The poor boi was so cold that I realised that he'd need instant warming, so I had him lie over My body to transfer the heat, which worked well. Once he'd warmed up, I wanted to see him cum, and so made use of his hard penis. he did very well, ejaculating all over the show. But for Me that was not only the best result, it was also a very telling result for My labours: he asked Me if he had permission to cum, so a lesson had been learned! Because of this, I decided to reward his obedience, and it was this that caused him to enjoy his ejaculation, although he might not have realised it at the time. I was tempted to deny him, to see how he'd be in the morning, but I thought, "Be nice.". And so I was.

I came over him, too, and then cleaned us up using a tee shirt, the "Even good slaveboys deserve spanking" one (which I'd worn specially!). And then it was to bed. 755 had enjoyed his first day with his new Master, whom he had pleased brilliantly. I let him wear the restraints, and I held him in My arms, knowing that this boi was Mine.

All in all, the initial meet exceeded My expectations - and I went to sleep a happy Master.

Much of Saturday morning was spent in bed - mainly because I was dog-tired, and because it has become clear that 755 is not a morning person! I used the opportunity to see how he'd react to being used to make Me cum - I had him suck Me, and then I came in his mouth and told him to swallow, which he did. 755 does not like the taste of cum, nor do I think he likes sucking a penis. Too bad. he is a slave, and he will pleasure Me as a good slave should. I am clean and healthy, and he should be grateful to be able to give Me pleasure. I allowed him to cum in the morning again, as a reward, although it went a little pear-shaped when his anus swallowed the small metal butt plug I'd inserted to give him a nice orgasm. I'd carefully watched how he masturbated the night before, and noticed how he massaged that sexy bit between his anus and balls, and so I thought that the smallest plug would work well - after all, I had never managed to swallow it! The orgasm was great, but perhaps the plug was a little over-greased, because when I felt down to remove it, it had vanished. I was not a happy bunny. I looked through the bedclothes, couldn't find it. NOT HAPPY. Neither was the now worried boi. Realising that we didn't want a trip to Casualty, I had him stand in such a way as to ensure that it remained at the bottom of the bowel. I applied more grease, and stretched his sphincter until I could get a grip, then removed it. We will not use the small acorn plug again. he is understandably nervous, but the next time it will be the plug with the large round stop at its base.

I am glad the situation was resolved, and I am very glad that there was no problem. Especially as there are trust issues involved, but the boi is going to have to put this one behind him and move on. We have both learned from this experience.


I had spent some time drawing on his body that morning, because I want him to have his number tattooed. I pencilled in some likely spots, something like at the post-chair last night, and the best looking number was down his very sensitive side, unfortunately! I think it is ace! And so does he, but it is not likely in the near future. Erotic, but unlikely to happen....yet! I'd also shaved him that morning, and so he began to look more like a real slave than he had that evening. This, together with the foreskin stretching exercise, is a requirement of his servitude.


The rest of the day was spent doing things - a visit to the tattoo parlour to price tattoos, and also to have a look at places to tattoo. An interesting exercise, because the boi's status was exercised in public: and he did very well, indeed. he was getting under My feet a little in Fish's , the hardware shop, but he behaved exemplarily at the tattooist. he also had the novel experience of not having control over his money (I took control over the wallet), and also had nothing in his pockets, too. I controlled when he could smoke, and made a point of exercising that control in front of the tattoo artist and his partner. They might not have been aware, but the boi certainly was.


And so the control increased, bit by bit.




Sunday, 8 November 2009

MY FIRST OWNED SLAVE


It is a funny thing, but I clearly remember thinking last week that I really ought to update this blog to reflect the latest developments in My search for a fulltime slave and household companion. And, as is often the case when I have such thoughts, I realise afterwards that I should have acted on that impulse - usually too late to rectify the situation!
After searching for almost three years, I have found a slave.
This boi, 182-618-755, spent the weekend here in service. I found him to be obedient, willing, respectful, inquisitive at times, loving, patient, funny, critical, intense, curious, calm under pressure, and most of all, ideally suited to My taste.
Physically, he is skinny, has some muscular development, has a tightish foreskin, is learning to enjoy the physical sexual aspects of being a slave, is now shaven in the groin area, and is very promising. he is now wearing a chain collar, and, to all intents and purposes, is considered to be an owned slave.
So, I have found My slave.
To put the whole thing into perspective, I have to consider the developments over the past few weeks. Initially, I was supposed to meet with 483 - I'd wanted 729 and 483 to meet, but 483 said he'd been quite freaked out when he received his tags in the post (god knows why, because I thought it was going swimmingly then - we'd been chatting over the phone, using Skype, and there was not any cause for alarm), and as he was about to go on holiday, said he'd use the time to think about this type of relationship and whether he wanted to continue our discussions, and, to cut a long story short, he vanished into cyberspace. I tried to contact him, but in the tradition of such things, the calls and text messages went unanswered - gay for "god no, I am no longer interested!".
So to 729: he too went on holiday for a while and was supposed to remain in contact, but he has also sent Me the same sort of message. The last time I'd written on the blog, I mentioned that he had had an interesting orgasm, and I think that it is this that did for him. he showed Me a part of himself that is usually deeply hidden, a bit of his personality which I think makes him find submission so attractive. We discussed it afterwards, while he was recovering from his emotional lapse, and I now believe that he has not been in contact because of his inability to face Me because I know something about him which he does not want people to know. But such is subspace: interesting things make there appearance, and things, once said, cannot be unsaid.
So, if the truth be told, I don't think that I will see him again. The scene and loss of control was too intense for 729, and it will be a long time before he tests these particular waters again. Which is a great pity.
So, realistically speaking, that leaves 058. I have been in contact with him, and we were supposed to meet one Friday evening. The arrangement fell through because, he said, he had a work commitment. Nevertheless, I have tried to rearrange, but I have not yet been successful. Maybe it will still come together with him.
Floating about in the wings was an email conversation with a boi off TSR, who'd seen My profile and wanted to chat about things. We corresponded, and he was a circumcision fetishist for whom I entertained high hopes because of the quality of his emails, but then he too vanished into the aether, no doubt wanking himself to oblivion at the thought of being owned and used by a Master.
Which leads Me to the inescapable conclusion that not everyone is cut out for the intensity of a BDSM relationship. I do believe that many enjoy the brief frisson of excitement that flirting with voluntary servitude and even masochism offers, but I know from My own personal experience that true slaves are few and far between. When I look at the many bois who have shown interest, only two - possibly three or even four - have had the aptitude and determination and the guts to make a slave, because make no mistake, voluntary servitude is not an easy choice at all.
And so it was that I saw a profile for someone called Tail on recon five days ago. What struck Me was the way in which he'd written the profile. It was not what he said, it was what he did not say. The words he'd written were: "I'm pretty self reliant, I juggle various odd jobs just so I don't have to rely on others. Yes, I can travel and yes, I'm now not tied down enough to stay put. But I won't if it's a quick fling you're after. I'm in it for the relationship. The real deal. Don't like it, well... Stop wasting my time".
What struck Me was that here was potentially someone who had been looking and who was also unsuccesful. I thought - erroneously, as it turned out - that here was a boi who had tried a number of Masters and who, like Me, was tired of the artificiality of the gay social scene, and who wanted to serve a Master for real. he expressed an interest in relocation, and in being a house slave, and invited interested parties to contact him. So I did.
Nor was I disappointed. he has a self-deprecating style in the first messages, but I made it My business to follow up, and before long I found Myself chatting to this boi on msn until 2330, then 0000, then 0030. As is evident to anyone that knows Me, this is a major investment in terms of time for a boi, given My workload and starting and finishing times.
We discussed the theoretical aspects of being an owned slave, what I'd expect in a boi, and what he was prepared to do, and then I had him cum and send Me the pic - partly to see him enjoy himself and partly for Me to have a look at his penis, and partly to see if he would obey. he succeeded on all three fronts.
The substance of our messaging was that he wanted someone to take control of aspects of his life, but also to guide and be a companion as well as a Master. This idea excited Me, because it is precisely what I want in a boi. I need a boi who is capable of initiative and also of running his own life divorced from Mine, yet under My supervision, guidance, and approval. The more I read and chatted with him, the more I liked him. I decided that I wanted to hear his voice, to gauge his genuine-ness. This is not always infallible, but it is a good test of seriousness. he had warned Me that he was not the chattiest of people over the phone, "I am a bit shy", he said.
I liked what I heard. There was a distinct possibility where this boi was concerned. I had him register as a slave, for the usual reasons. And so it was that the boi kit became slave 182-618-755. My slave 755.
The next day, there was a text message while I was teaching. 755 had a free weekend, should he come up?