From BadYoungMaster

Further to My comments earlier today, I found this:
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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Giving Up Your Life? Bud, You Just Found It.

Interestingly enough one of the most common arguments I hear from 'slaves' is that although they like submitting in the bedroom, they want all the freedoms granted to everyone else in this society outside the bedroom, often coupled with the statement that to be a 24/7/365 slave would be to 'give up their life'. This pisses me off!

The use of the word 'bedroom' in this context does not imply a place to sleep, but rather a place to have sex. Such people have reduced BSDM to something that is purely sexual - incorrectly I might add.

Although there are elements of BDSM that produce a sexually gratifying response - such as a slave who obtains an erection when in bondage, it is an elementary mindset to reduce all elements of the BDSM lifestyle to sexual ones. The delight I receive from playing with a 'human dog' for instance is purely emotional and not sexual whatsoever for me. Moreover, the aspects of control from TPE (total power exchange) cannot be limited to the confines of a bedroom without me getting bored rather quickly.

Many inexperienced slaves reading this blog may have attended several sessions with one or more Masters or Mistresses - some experienced and some just as inexperienced. These sessions oftentimes may have been short, between 2-5 hours, and packed full of activities that involve the genitals. Unfortunately, this only furthers the perception that BDSM is about sex. I can attest that longer sessions of several days or weeks, offer an experience that you will never find in a short power session. These experiences will be quite the opposite from the cold, domineering experiences seen in some fantasy porn video.

Now let's talk about the 'giving up your life part'. Obviously, something compels me to want to own a slave and likewise, something must compel you to want to be a slave. For me, it's as though every fiber in my body tells me that this is the best thing for me, and likewise, you should have the same feeling. If you don't then that's probably why you feel like your 'giving up your life' rather than a feeling of finding it. Let's explore this further.

It's normal that throughout life, even through any given day or week there are times that you don't feel like you would want to be a slave, or from my aspect - a Master. I have these feelings at times. It's normal. A friend recently asked me if I thought he was making the right choice by getting married. Feelings of uncertainty are completely normal and can be applied to almost any other type of relationship. In a few posts now, I have stated that if you can 'get-off' and still feel like being a slave afterwards, then your feelings have probably transcended beyond something that is purely hormonal and that you are ready for the next step.

The very perception that you are 'giving up your life' has to mean that you are going to be at some kind of loss by being a slave. This is a negative perception however, as there is much to be gained, depending on the slave's situation, from being in a TPE relationship - physical and health, emotional, mental, sexual, and even spiritual benefits not to mention personal growth. Now you are probably thinking "yeah, right", but consider, just as one example, the plight of gay people persecuted throughout the world and as such remain 'closeted'. Arguably, one may say that remaining closeted has benefits, but anyone who has come out knows just as well as I do that it helps us achieve a sense of self-actualization. Achieving such as state would be impossible for someone who feels like a slave but who cannot live openly as one. Yes. It's difficult first coming out of the closet, and yes, even more difficult telling your loved ones about your involvement in BDSM, but it helps strengthen relationships with those who truly care for you and makes you feel like you have a sense of autonomy.

http://badyoungmaster.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/giving-up-your-life-bud-you-just-found.html?zx=a7c0bdd71918d8ab
Read and enjoy.

Submission and 634

Last year I was talking to and had begun the initial stages of training a boi who had to go overseas for career reasons.  We had spent some time talking about the nature of submission and domination, and although he was craving the experience, he was held back by the fear of his fear.

This particular boi's experience is, I know, quite common.  In his case, he had only recently come out as gay to his close friends and was busy coming to terms with that big change in his life.  Being gay is one thing, but to find yourself attracted to a kinky lifestyle is to rub salt in the wound!

We spent hours chatting during the runup to xmas, both online and on the phone, and he started being kept in chastity and having his orgasm controlled.   I only let him cum when I chose, and then when I could monitor his orgasm.  They would have made great videos if I had made some of the cumshots.

he was mentioned in the New Year Update published in February, and I am pleased to report that we have re-established contact.  What I have enjoyed discovering is that he has realised how critical kink is to his life, and this is another example of how people, once they've found and enjoyed this kind of sexual pleasure, find vanilla unrewarding by comparison.

I think that absolute surrender to another's will is liberating, as I have mentioned on these pages before.  In discussion today, this boi echoed that view: "I've realised after being in yet another relationship that I really need a dominant figure in my life to feel complete. It's funny when I feel dominated and controlled and my freedom has been taken away is actually when I feel most free" . I think that this is an important realisation, that moment of satori.

Since returning, he has been hinting at wanting to be placed under control again, so today I thought I'd push those buttons.  Nothing has changed.  It was necessary for him to offer himself, so I created the opportunity, which he took.  At the moment, he is effectively under consideration again.  he responded precisely as I expected him to, and as a reward he was allowed to take care of his erection.  he is Irish, and returns there soon for a short period.  he has been told to go and think about what he wants.

I am expecting him return and to ask to be under My control again.

So what is it that makes subs return like moths to that dazzling, dangerous flame?  I have read many profiles and experiences of subs and Masters.  There is that perception of inequality that exists in this kind of relationship - actually it is a relationship of equality, more of a yin/yang dynamic:  the sub is happiest when he is able to surrender to the Dom, and the Dom when he is able to control the sub.  In many ways, it is a perfect union.  It is also closer to the traditional heterosexual couple than almost anything I can think of, and it is successful because both parties play distinct roles, agreed within the context of the relationship.

A sub on recon, submissiveboyfriend, put it like this:
"Hi all!!!

I am a young bottom lad, slim smooth and submissive

I look for a top dominant guy for a possible relationship.

1. If you think that unequality and different status is good within a relationship
2. If you think that your boyfriend should be the one who "minds the house" and do housechores for you.
3. If you think that punishment (including physical punishment) is an acceptable way to solve day by day problems in a relationship and you think your boyfreiend should accept it.
4. If you think that sexual loyalty should work one way: from your boyfriend to you. But You think that you should be free to have sex when and whoever you wish
5. If you like to combine all that with a usual relationship: going out, dinner, cinema, and so on...


Then just drop me a line and lets take it from there!!

I am into guys usually up to 35 years old, white or black, doesnt matter, but rough, preferably not fat and also self confident

I believe in dominance not only physical exercise but also intelectual. Types which are often of my interest are macho guys, executive-classy guys or even those who like to feel superior from a cultural, social, economic or any other reason. 

I would like to make happy and make the life of a dominant guy easier"

I like how he put things.  he is clearly outlining what he sees as his role within such a relationship, and I think that this is the common position for most prospective submissives.  It is a role I like.  It makes My task so much easier if a boi knows what he wants and where he wants to be.  And that is one of the most refreshing aspects of these relationships - openness from the outset.

On a another note, the lovely Scot mentioned in My last post has had some very good fortune and his career is taking him to London shortly, thence to America for a while - sad because it means that we won't be able to meet until he returns, and that might be next year.  One man's meat is truly another's poison!  So, My misfortune is his opportunity of a lifetime, so rather than being disappointed, I am actually very happy  for him.  This is indeed his lucky break, and I hope ti goes very, very well for him! :)

And the Midlands boi?  Well, we're still communicating, which is a good sign.  Ditto for another boi in Manchester, so there are options.  Always options!   

Another Potential boi, and an Observation on Sessional subs

For some time now, I have been admiring the profile of a boi who lives in the Midlands and have been chatting to him since late March this year.  I find him physically attractive, and since speaking with him, intellectually so too.

This boi has had several masters and has had three years' experience in the bdsm environment, but My sense is that his experience as a submissive has been just that - as a sub, for  relatively short periods of time.  From what he has said, he has enjoyed this, but it is My intention for him to explore surrender.  he is a boi of strong will, and so far has artfully avoided complying with most of the instructions he has been given, indicating to Me that he is very much in control still.  I raised this in a discussion with him tonight, and he agreed that I was largely correct in My assessment.  I indicated that I intended to change this, and he assented so we shall see what results.

As I have said before in this blog, sex is a very important part of the bdsm experience, and sexual submission is a key part of that.  There is much more.  This boi has had all the sex he's wanted and has experienced much in the way of group kinky sex, but My feeling is that although immensely pleasureable, this boi needs more than that.  he needs to be collared and to be someone's slave.

I want to own him.

There is a common misconception that an owned boi is a creature kept in the basement, be abused,  and used to do housework and present holes for filling.  I don't think that the current craze for soft porn (50 Shades of Grey et al) has done much to correct this in the public mind.  I think a boi can be owned and still have a rich and rewarding career and social life within the constraints of an authoritarian relationship, provided that the framework that is set in place between Master and slave is flexible enough to accommodate the needs of both parties.

Trust, Loyalty, Communication and Obedience are all fundamental to such a structure and these qualities need to be nurtured and allowed to bear fruit where both parties are concerned.  slave 270, for example, is currently at long leash mainly because he has pressing family problems that are keeping him from serving more regularly.  I am satisfied that he is being good because of the trust that exists between us, and because of the long conversations we have had that tell Me that he wants and needs to be owned; his ownership fulfils a need he has.  And so he remains collared, responding to messages and showing his obedience via his blog and the performance of tasks that I set him.

Remote control is a technological reality today.  I was in the Apple Shop recently and saw an interesting device that allowed motion sensors to activate a webcam to prevent burglary - or at least watch the burglary happening - and I thought of a use in this context.  A boi could be monitored remotely.  he could feel owned and under the eye of his Master, even when a hundred miles distant.  I like the idea, I think it has kink potential.

I usually communicate with bois is by text message, Skype, phone, and I require bois to report in daily.  I want to know what they are doing and how their days progress.  I encourage them to write journals, mostly private, sometimes public, so that they are able to measure their progress.  

Ownership must work for both parties.  It must also be fun and rewarding. The would-be owner must be patient because it rarely happens overnight.  I intend to have several sessions with this boi and to spend time getting to know him, so we shall see what happens.  I think he wants to test these waters,  and I think he'll find that this is a much more meaningful experience than just being used and fucked in a session.

There are other bois I have been chatting to of late and as is always the case some have potential, others just for sessions.  Currently, I am speaking with a boi from St Helens who is bi and who has a profile on Fetlife, and who might well turn out to be a very interesting  find.  Sessions can be fun, but are likely to be much better when they are overnight and are as part of a lifestyle experience, rather than a boi arriving for an hour or two's fun.

As you know, I live in a boat.  I often watch youths do exciting things at the other end of the harbour where there is a pontoon. In hot weather these teens climb down from the wharf to the pontoon, clown around and finally jump in and swim.  What I have noticed is that the boys generally run up and down, balking at jumping in the water, stopping at the very edge of the pontoon.  They mock charge, stopping before taking that final step, before plunging into the water.  The girls don't.  If they're going to swim, they swim.  Rarely so the boys.  Sessionals tend to be like the boys on the pontoon: they are attracted by the adventure, driven by lust, put off that plunge at the very last minute.  They become timewasters.  Sometimes they pluck up the courage and follow through and meet.

I have been reasonably fortunate in that after chatting for a while, they do meet.  Like everyone, I do have My fair share of timewasters - as regular readers to this blog will know.  I was saying to a close friend recently that I sift through an incredible amount of dross to find that one good boi who does what he says he's going to.   Which is why I am now preferring older bois, bois who have had some experience and who have an idea of what they want to experience.

I have managed to gain access to a very well set up play room in Warrington, courtesy of some very kind friends.  It is My intention to use this facility whenever possible to expand bois' experiences.  I am very lucky to have been allowed the use of this space, and am looking forward to it.

As an addendum to this post, I spent most of today chatting to a very nice boi from Scotland who expressed an interest in kinky things, and after a great exchange of text messages and messages on Recon, he experienced going commando at My instruction (he was at work)

and we agreed he'd call later on this evening.  Above is a pic of him obeying hi first instruction, taken at work. Unfortunately, My workshop has poor Three phone coverage, and so I didn't receive his call earlier.  I was having trouble sleeping and was dozing earlier when I heard the phone buzz - it was My Scot. I think I'll refer to him as "a" for now, until he registers for a number.  We've just had that phone call, and the task I intended giving him earlier awas a fun one, before sleeping he was to enjoy his orgasm and send Me the cumshot pic.   So, I'm pleased to say that the instruction has been delivered, and now I'm waiting for the result.  Sessions?  Longer term?  Who knows?  Only time will tell....  he sounds lovely, and he's a lovely smile on him.  And good bits, too -as can be seen from the lovely pic a sent Me. 

The new boi serves

The new boi came over to be collared and to serve.  We spent the weekend together last month.  Here are some pictures:

I enjoyed having him around; much was discussed and agreed, and he served well.  As agreed in the contract, he has been wearing his vanilla collar daily, and in spite of experiencing some family difficulties that have prevented him serving more recently, he has been progressing well.

I have found him to be respectful and obedient, and a quick learner.  he has been keeping up his private journal (not open to public view) and I have high hopes for this boi.